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Resilient Women Share Their Healing Stories

Do you wonder how women heal from sexual abuse?

Resilience is key to recovering from trauma. Recovery can transform one’s personal pain into wisdom, insight and compassion. At that sage of the hero’s journey, survivors often feel called to share their hard-earned skills to help pull other survivors out of the matrix of denial and shame.

When people experience shock and trauma, some remember details, while others have blank spots in their memories.  Either way, the body knows, even when the nervous system uses the freeze response to protect us when we don’t feel safe enough to remember. Often in cases of abuse in childhood, it isn’t safe for the child to remember and there may be on one she can trust. Just as in many alcoholic families, no one names what is happening, because it is taboo. It can be stigmatizing, and we are biologically adverse to being ostracized, as we lose support we rely on to survive.

Our nervous systems are designed to go into the freeze response when we don’t have the capacity or power to fight or flee the abuser. For example, in most cases, children cannot stand up to adults. As with veterans of war, survivors of sexual abuse suppress memories when they are too dangerous to remember. Surviving is the organism’s number 1 priority. Dealing with the trauma can come years later.

As children who’ve been abused grow up, it often is safer for them to “forget” the trauma by suppressing their emotions. They don’t heal emotionally, because suppressing overwhelming emotions drives them into the subconscious mind. The body remembers what the mind can’t deal with because trauma is encoded in the nervous system.  

Even when survivors try to “forget” and move on, trauma will continue to plague them with flashbacks that trigger fear, shame and toxic feelings. This can happen unexpectedly, even in a situation that in present time is actually safe, when it resembles, on a sensory level, a traumatic experience from the past. The resemblance could be the setting, such as in a laundry room, on holiday with family, or the smell of a particular food that was being prepared when the trauma occurred.

Recovering memories is an arduous process. Surviving, and then healing, builds tenacity in survivors. We learn to love ourselves and let ourselves rest—instead of pushing ourselves to keep going, even when we are tired. We learn how to unwind the pain and fear we’ve internalized and regulate our nervous systems. Often, we do this without much support from friends, and in the face of ongoing denial by family members. The intensity of the trauma is hard for people to face.

For many survivors, memories will start to surface, when they are safe from their abuser(s), and their nervous systems relax enough to let the nervous system begin to repair itself.  This is true of war veterans of war and survivors of abuse, whether the abuse was physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual. All abuse effects survivors emotionally, physically and spiritually, whether they recognize this or not.

Survivors heal by learning to be grounded and stay present in their bodies, even as memories surface. When our nervous systems calm down, suppressed memories may float to the surface and become conscious, at least partially.

Thirty years ago, “exposure therapy” was considered state of the art. We know now, thanks to scientific advances in neurobiology, that exposure therapy can regroove the same pathways that the brain created in order to survive the original trauma, thereby digging the trauma pathways deeper into the brain.

Instead of following the same circuits, to heal, we need to create new neural pathways and teach our nervous systems to self-regulate. We need to develop the capacity to come to a place of rest and complete a cycle of anxiety or overload of intensity.

While listening to a trauma summit online with the Shift Network a few years back, one of the speakers was a therapist who worked with Viet Nam vets to help them overcome PTSD. Each year, after working with group of veterans together for a year, he took them on a trip to Viet Nam. They knew and trusted each other because they’d bonded as they did therapy together. Once in Viet Nam, they confronted their past in a way that was designed to be healing.

They discovered what they’d learned, what they regretted, and what they didn’t and couldn’t know while they were in the war. When we are in high intensity situations, day to day survival outweighs other concerns, such as the morality of the situation, or the capacity to grieve. This is the same with children growing up in abusive families—they live in hypervigilance, without the capacity to objectively see what is going on in the family.

The veterans learned how they’d grown as human beings, and in many cases, they become activists, protesting wars that involve invading another country without their home country having been attacked. In other words, they came to terms with what they’d done. They felt their feelings, and, in many cases, their perspectives shifted.

The therapist spoke eloquently about how important it was to have a support group of peers, and to complete a rite of passage, in which they acknowledged the wisdom they’d gained, the lessons learned. In many cases, they experienced changes in perspective, and found within their hearts a desire to advocate for peace.

Much like a vision quest, the rite of passage, moved them from loss of self to a renewed sense of purpose in the world. Their suffering brought them to new understanding and opened the space for dignity, a revival of their own sense of worthiness, and a degree of wisdom.

There is power in facing our experiences and the actions of those who have traumatized us.

Ever since hearing that interview, I’ve been sitting with the seed of an idea.

Like veterans of war, sexual abuse survivors also enter a dark night of the soul. Their suffering can be great and can lead to mental illness and homelessness. The loss of their sense of safety and autonomy over their bodies can lead them to prostitution. Unlike veterans, they are not seen as heroes. The culture doesn’t offer them redemption and a place of honor.

My heart says that sexual abuse survivors will also benefit from going through a rite of passage, coming out the other side, and reentering society as valued members, whose experiences can lead to wisdom, increased intuition and compassion, all of which are of great value for our culture.

Survivors need to be heard—we need to hear them and learn their lessons of courage, resilience and recovery.

During these times of climate change and disasters abounding, we need stories that teach resilience.  We need to expose what is hidden—and reduce the harm being done. We need to groove new pathways in our journey to recover from devastation and rebuild culture based on wisdom gained and lessons learned.

Inspired by their courage, tenacity and resilience, this is the first of what I envision as a series of interviews with women who’ve traveled the arc of adverse childhood experiences, who have found their way to become compassionate, insightful and, yes, wise women, who want to share their stories and support healing for all survivors. 

 Interview #1 in this series features Mary Knight, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, whose healing journey inspires gratitude and admiration. You can watch the full interview on YouTube.Watch Mary Knight’s interview on my YouTube Channel here

Stay tuned here for her next interview, which will be about her documentary movie called “Am I crazy”? Her next interview will be followed by a Watch Party on Facebook Live and Zoom. Sign up for my newsletter to receive announcements. 

Stay tuned here for her next interview about her documentary film, “Am I crazy”? This will be followed by a Watch Party on Facebook Live and Zoom, and a Q&A with Mary afterward. 

I’ll announce the date of the WATCH PARTY as soon as we’ve chosen one.

Learn more about Mary here ,   or contact her here.

 

 

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How I got into Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique

I began my healing journey in my early twenties, some forty years ago. I felt depressed and anxious. I had severe allergies, migraine headaches, panic attacks, and couldn’t digest the food I ate. I felt suicidal at times, and emotionally numb. I couldn’t feel my body. My mind raced and I couldn’t focus without great tension. I was drowning in negative self-talk and had extremely low self-confidence. I had so much shame, I couldn’t stand up for myself. I spent a lot of time in the fight, flight or freeze response.

 

I started learning to do bodywork, which involved getting bodywork. I began to feel my body and study energy flows. I trained in Swedish massage and Polarity Energy Balancing. Later, I became a certified Cranial Sacral Therapist.

 

My deep healing began in my early forties when I entered recovery from childhood abuse. Up until the early 90’s, I’d been suppressing trauma without realizing. When one of my sisters told me that she thought she’d been sexually abused, a door opened for me to heal. Soon after, I realized I had PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder.)

 

I did 2 years of exposure therapy. While it helped me uncover and purge childhood feelings and experiences, it was also re-traumatizing me. I began to fear leaving my house. One night, I dreamed that a bird of prey had it’s claws in my shoulders. I called my practitioner the next morning and cancelled with her—forever. Thank goodness a healthy part of me knew that I was safe in my current life, that I was an adult, safe to come and go.

 

I continued meditation, yoga, tai chi and bodywork. I journaled, wrote poetry, played hand drums and painted—all of which was extremely helpful. But I was still carrying trauma and getting triggered into fight, flight and freeze states.

 

Later I learned I had C-PTSD (complex PTSD), which is trauma in the first 7 years of life. This is significant because early trauma impacts our developing nervous systems, and the neural pathways in our brains are grooved in patterns developed in response to danger, threat and chaos early in life.

 

I did psychotherapy with a renowned trauma specialist. It was somewhat helpful—except I felt I had to crawl into a box to work with her. I’m an artist and intuitive, and she had no background in working with right-brain ways of processing. She couldn’t relate to the metaphysical experiences I had—the shared death experience, the kundalini crisis… Soon, I was out on my own again, searching and trying one practitioner after another. Along the way, I studied at the Jung Center and worked with a Jungian therapist. Again, helpful—but it didn’t change my neurobiology from traumatized to peaceful.

 

For years, therapists who heard my story told me I was incredibly resilient. I didn’t feel resilient back then; I felt I was trudging up an endless hill, then sliding back down, like the myth of Sisyphus.  

 

EFT was the first modality to thoroughly reset my nervous system. A friend introduced me by guiding me through a session. It was so helpful that I decided to take the training. I spent 3 months doing an online course, and then attended a 10-day retreat, where we tapped and learned to facilitate taps for our peers.

 

Tapping allowed me to access the depth I needed to work through the turmoil inside. I cried when I needed to, laughed when it bubbled up, and shared what I’d never told anyone, without fear of being judged, censored, or abandoned. It was a magical experience to go to the dark places within me, while being witnessed and cared for by a loving, supportive guide. Tapping freed me.

 

At the 10-day live retreat, we did 3 taps/per day, some one-on-one, and some with the group. I trained for 4 years. 2 years after my second certification training, I did an intensive tapping journey with a colleague, during which time we exchanged 3-hour sessions weekly, for 14 weeks. That immersion resolved lingering trauma and empowered me to become a more skillful, empathetic practitioner.

 

I began leading group taps on Zoom and Facebook during the #MeToo movement, helping women overcome sexual abuse, learning as I went along. Some years later, I continue to love tapping and what it can do for people.

 

Currently, I lead a monthly group tap on Zoom, sponsored by a meditation group, Sacred Mountain Sangha, with participants from 3 continents. This group is respectful, compassionate and deep. If you feel attracted to participate, newcomers are welcome. Sign up here for announcements and invitations.

 

I believe that trauma is potentially a valuable, though unintegrated resource. People who’ve overcome trauma gain wisdom and compassion. Survivors with regulated nervous systems can lead us through the challenges of our times.

 

We live in times where, because of cultural patterns, we have generations of traumatized ancestors from whom we’ve inherited epigenetic patterns. It’s no accident that we’re developing skills to overcome trauma now. This is crucial work, if our species is to survive.

 

Survivors who are well, who live joyful, fulfilling lives can make a difference. We can dismantle trauma, be levelheaded and emotionally stable during times of intensity and uncertainty.

 

Currently, we have a pandemic going on; we have climate change and political and financial instability. With so much uncertainty, our souls cry out to do the work of healing and transformation.

 

I bring a lot of personal and professional skills to the table, and most especially, my faith in your ability to overcome trauma. Contact me today to set up your free Discovery Call

 

 

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Now is the time for us to BE THE CHANGE with renewed passion

Intuitive EFT Tapping to Release and Receive
Move from Contraction to Expansion
Sunday, January 24
11am CST
Since it is intuitively guided, this event will go from 90 minutes to 2 hours long, depending on the energies
Sponsored by Sacred Mountain Sangha
Dana/Donation based register here

To BE the change, we must work through our emotions, learn from them, gain our center and our ground, clarify our values and embody them.

Having prepared ourselves to receive, we’ll ask our hearts and intuition for guidance:

What’s mine to do?
How do we move forward in a good way, using all we’ve learned in the past 5 years?

To Be the change, when we experience adversity, we find ways to heal, overcome and move forward.  We build our capacity to regenerate passion for life, again and again.

We meet whatever comes with Radical LOVE, the LOVE that created us, and get on with building a culture of kindness, connection, justice and regenerative earth healing.

How is Intuitive Tapping different?

I’ve been an energy healer and Cranial Sacral therapist for many years, before I transitioned to Spiritual Coaching. I was initiated into the Akashic Records by direct transmission 40 years ago. You can read about that here

When I lead group taps, we start with a grounding and centering meditation, connecting with healing powers in the earth and the cosmos. 

I’m trained in resetting the nervous system, to help you:

  • Release tension, worry, and anxiety
  • Receive loving kindness
  • Open your heart to deeper knowing and presence 
  • Reset your nervous system
  • Invoke wisdom, insight and upliftment
  • Open space for you to receive a healing energy transmission if you choose

 

 

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The Resilience of Traumatized Women who Rise UP

Why do I love to work with women overcoming trauma?

Traumatized women are many, including:

  • Women who’ve been traumatized by gender discrimination, sexism, violence, misogyny, sexual harassment and worse
  • Women who’ve inherited trauma from their mothers, grandmothers and generations of ancestors
  • Women who’ve experienced trauma in the form of witch hunts, forced marriage
  • Women who’ve been paid less, denied promotions or other opportunities due to gender bias
  • Women who’ve been harmed by religious and spiritual traditions that denigrate women
  • Women who’ve been  invalidated, unsupported and left to fend for themselves as single mothers
  • Women who’ve been isolated from friendship and community, losing a sense of belonging.

Survivors are resilient. We’ve lived through adversity and faced our own shadows, as well as the collective shadow. We don’t spiritual bypass or deny the injustices and pain of the world, or resort to platitudes. We dig deep and reach high. We face reality and move forward with insight, compassion and wisdom.

I love working with traumatized women who are determined to overcome and rise up, because, I AM ONE TOO!

For years, therapists and healers I worked with remarked, “You’re incredibly resilient,” when they heard about events in my childhood and early adulthood. I didn’t feel resilient, though. I felt like I was on a treadmill, trying to overcome C-PTSD, especially the repetitive cycle of getting triggered into a Fight/Flight/Freeze response. This was beyond my conscious control, because anxiety and fear were physiologically grooved into my nervous system.

I felt frustrated by some healers and therapists, who seemed to think I just needed to “change my story.” When trauma is deeply grooved into how your brain is wired, as it is when trauma is severe and occurs in the first 7 years of life while your nervous system is still developing, you can’t just positive think your way out of it. 

I didn’t feel like I was ‘holding on’ to my story. I felt like IT had a grip on me and wouldn’t let go. Now that I know the neuroscience, I see what an apt description that is.

I was interviewed some years back for an effective healing telesummit. When I told the interviewer I wanted to talk about trauma, he said, “I don’t work with trauma survivors anymore–because they don’t want to heal.” ARRGH!

That was such nonsense! To his credit, while he didn’t exactly “interview” me, he did give me a platform to speak about trauma survivors and resilience. Later, I got emails from listeners around the country, who wrote to thank me and say, “Your interview was the only one in the summit with substance.” 

I studied, I trained, I did the work. Today, I continue to study and train and do the work. If a practitioner claims that “they’ve done all their work as a human, and are enlightened 100% of the time,” RUN THE OTHER WAY! As long as you’re still breathing, you’ll have your share of stuff.

TODAY, I’M AMAZED AND FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR HOW WONDERFUL AND JOYFUL MY LIFE IS. EVEN NOW. DURING THE PANDEMIC.

Sure, I still have moods and emotional states, and I meet them with skill, self-kindness, support from friends and family. At this point in my life, I am deeply resourced.

My nervous system is well regulated. I have skills and a support network. I want this for you too. I acknowledge my resilience and want to support you meeting your goals.

I’m here to tell you: YOU CAN DO THIS! Overcome trauma and change the rest of your life. Life unfolds from the present moment. Despite your past, your future can be kind and loving.

The years of exploration, experimentation and doing the work worked! I worked for 7 years as a Craniosacral therapist specializing in somato-emotional release work. And in 2021, we have more knowledge and skill about how to  than we ever have before. 

EFT tapping has been one of the most effective modalities for me in healing my nervous system and letting go of my story. My positive experiences led me to become a Tapping Practitioner. My clients get amazing results. And I continue to benefit. 

As a Spiritual Coach, my goal is to support my clients clearing whatever stands in the way of accessing and following their own inner wisdom and their Soul’s guidance. Much of the time, what stands in the way is blocked emotions from unhealed traumatic states.

I also offer Akashic Healing sessions, when more subtle energy field work is indicated.  I was initiated into the Akashic records spontaneously, directly from the source, as you can read here in my blog called “Tapped”.

I’ve been a certified flower essence practitioner using these vibrational remedies to support emotional healing for 20+ years. 

A long time friend who’s watched me heal over 2 decades sent me this message today, and I loved it so much, I’m reposting it here. The author is Shahida Arabi    She is new to me, so I look forward to diving in to her YouTube channel, The highlighting is my own, plus I’ve made a few small edits in punctuation. 

She is Powerful, by Shahida Arabi

“Here is a truth you often don’t hear: traumatized women have the potential to become the most powerful people in this world.

The most ignorant members of society call this type of woman “damaged.” But she is the most powerful type of woman there is.

What they forget is that survivors have the most dangerous advantage of all: resilience.

When you try and you try but you can never bring a woman down, you’ll know there is no going back. Don’t fool yourself. You could never defeat her. You never will.

This is the woman who will always rise from the dead; Lady Lazarus, after going through hell and back.

This is the woman who has burned her feet in the flames time and time again and always lives to tell another tale – even if she has to crawl back to life.

She was never given love or approval on a silver platter, so in order to survive, she had to love herself in a way others could only dream of. She fought tooth and nail for her own self-acceptance.

No one cuddled her as a child or told her pretty things; she had to fend for herself each step of the way. She knows she can survive because she already has and will again.

When someone tells her, “You can’t do it,” she says, “Watch me.”

She is fiery light birthed out of wintery darkness. Brought into the underworld by Hades, Persephone brings forth spring and rebirth when she reemerges finally from the cold.

She owns her shadows and seamlessly weaves them into the fabric of her freedom, creativity, imagination and independence.

All of her life, she was given every evidence of human cruelty and the evil people were capable of. She understood early on that the monsters people dreamed of existed in human skin.

She lived all of her nightmares in high definition. She was given every reason to give up, handed every justification to never believe in herself or anyone.

But there is raw magic in the ways in which she cultivates a faith in herself, to manifest the dreams her soul was meant to bring forth.

Despite it all, she still conquers.

She still survives and thrives.

The “damaged” woman is capable of immense manifestation not just in spite of, but because of the traumas she has gone through.

There is no one more motivated than a woman who has constantly been told what she cannot do or who she cannot be throughout her lifetime.

There is no one more determined to succeed than someone who has nothing left to lose.

The “damaged” woman doesn’t sign up for the hardships of her journey – but she plays the hell out of the cards she’s been dealt.

The “damaged” woman is not damaged at all – she is wounded, and in channeling and healing her wounds, she becomes the source of incredible energy, the site of unbelievable potential for abundance and change.

She possesses the power to use her wounds for the greater good and her highest good.

She builds her own success and becomes her own rugged hero; tends to her own scraped knees.

She uses every stone thrown at her to build the foundation for her empire.

Brick by brick she builds – and despite every attempt to tear her walls down, she rescues herself again and again.

Despite it all, this type of survivor may still face hatred, envy, greed from those around her. They try to tell her she is too damaged to soar.

See, when the women society call too “damaged” perform better than those who never were, it tends to upset the status quo.

As a result, she becomes the survivor of countless witch hunts, the target of many persecutors. Yet when they try to burn her at the stake, she does what comes naturally: she resurrects herself.

After all, nobody suspects that it is the wounded woman who has more power inside of her than the bullies who appear to overpower her.

They laugh and ridicule the mute warrior, the one who seems to never fight back.

But here’s the thing about this type of woman: she observes.

She learns how to pick and fight her own battles. Her spirit may be broken, but it is relentless. She perseveres, bit by bit. She takes it all in.

Perhaps she stays voiceless for years. For her soul, it may seem like for centuries. This is an ancient wound, one that seems to follow her from generation to generation.

Yet at some point, it comes time for her soul to fight back in order to survive. It comes time for her to rise.

She stays silent for so long that when she finally speaks, the world erupts and cracks wide open.

Her pent-up magnificent energy, born and bred in the pressure cooker that she calls life – is that of lightning.

Where once hopelessness was her default, now abundance becomes her birthright.

Where once she was timid, she now unleashes thunder in every action and word that she wields like a sword – and with it, she always brings a storm.

Now when she creates, she creates new worlds and transforms and manifests on a level that cannot be recreated by someone who never had to struggle to survive.

When you hear the voice of a powerful survivor and the will of a warrior – there is nothing you can do but to stop and listen.

She is the voice of a million lifetimes lived.

She is the voice of the hopeless and the powerless when the fire is brought back to their eyes. She is the harbinger of the justice that the voiceless have longed to hear and feel and touch.

Regardless of how much you try and how it may seem, you can never truly bring a survivor like this to her knees; she already knows the value her scars bring.

She knows how to fill the cracks between her wounds with gold.

She knows how to transform each bitter word cast upon her into an iron-clad will, that will set her and other caged birds free.

You can’t ever defeat a “damaged” woman because she knows exactly how to save herself.”

Email me if you’d like to learn more about my work. 

 

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Clarity in Unsteady Times

Clarity in Unsteady Times

EFT Tapping group event
Sunday, December 6, 2020
11am-1pm CST
Suggested donation $10-$40,
no one turned away for lack of funds
REGISTER HERE

There’s something special about tapping on shared concerns with a group of people on 3 continents, folks who are experienced meditators, who bring depth, presence and spaciousness to the field.

In times of great change, confusion reigns. Between the pandemic and political unrest, many of us are experiencing trauma.

Even with confusion running amok around you, you can be steady, clear and grounded.

EFT tapping is an effective way to reset your nervous system, so that you can feel at peace instead of agitated. It’s called tapping because we tap lightly with our fingertips on certain points on the skin, that help dissipate stress and create peace.

In this tap, you’ll connect with what truly nourishes you. Tapping increases our emotional intelligence and builds resilience. It brings forth your inner resources, and helps you steady yourself in a field of chaos. We will also tap on compassion and loving kindness, for ourselves and others.

The truth is, none of us actually knows what’s going on or what will unfold.

We’ll lighten the effect on us of the harms and traumas of toxic, dysfunctional leadership.

We’ll tap on healing our hearts, and extend healing to the land, to transform unhealthy cultures and heal the broken. We’ll let go of what needs to be surrendered in our own hearts, so we can feel freer to Love—ourselves, each other, and life itself.

Radical Love is feeling free to love even under adverse circumstances of pain, loss and fear. Radical love both requires and gives us resilience. 

Tapping is powerful and this group goes deep, so please plan to give yourself space for reflection before and after the tap. You may want to sleep, meditate, take a bath or a long walk. Plan to nourish yourself, rebuild your sense of wellbeing, so wellness will emanate from you and spread through the collective field.

Clarity in Unsteady Times

EFT Tapping group event
Sunday, December 6, 2020
11am-1pm CST
Suggested donation $10-$40,
no one turned away for lack of funds
REGISTER HERE

 

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How to use EFT tapping to contain overwhelming emotions without suppressing them.

Do you tap on yourself when you feel stressed?

Sometimes, emotions can surface while tapping on yourself that feel too intense to handle alone. When deep pain surfaces, it’s healthy to want support from a caring, skillful practitioner, to have someone holding space for you and supporting you. We may have carried the pain alone for decades.

Our culture is not skillful at comforting people and staying present when we’ve been shocked, are grieving, scared or angry. We learn to keep a stiff upper lip. We say we’re “fine” when someone asks how we feel.

Suppressing pain can make us feel isolated and disconnected, and contribute to physical pain. Emotional and physical pain activate the same part of the brain, which doesn’t distinguish between the two.

In many ways, our culture is broken. Emotional intelligence is often lacking.

The simple truth is, it’s human and healthy to need support. Stoicism can help us survive a dangerous event, but it can wreak havoc with our hearts over time. When we don’t have a full range of emotions, we lose our capacity for joy.

If you don’t have a Tapping practitioner to work with, or a friend to support you letting emotions flow through you, here’s what you can do:

  1. Turbo tap
    When you get stuck while tapping, you may want to stop or take a nap, or do anything but tap. Try this instead. Keep tapping, using a specific technique called Turbo Tapping. For example, if you’re feeling sadness or anger, you’ll tap on the tapping points while simply saying, “all this sadness,” or, “all this anger.”
    Tap for 1, 2 or 3 rounds, and update your words if the feeling changes. For example, sadness can turn to grief, anger or love.
  2. Remember that you grieve only because you love. Engage the Witness within you, also called your Higher Self, to give you some distance from the part of you that is carrying the pain. Tap on statements such as, “This pain is so old.” “I’ve had this pain since I was (tune into your body to answer) – 3 years old, or 26 years old.”
    “I acknowledge that this pain is deep, and that I care very much about it.”
    “I don’t feel quite ready to go deeper right now, and I’m choosing to reassure the part of me that I am aware and I care, even if now isn’t the best time to do the deeper work.”
    Pause your tapping, and turn your attention to sensations in your body. Put your hands on your heart, belly—or wherever your body is expressing tension. With the help of your capacity to bear Witness, let this hurt part of you know, “I see you. I’m here with you. I’m not going to deny you anymore, and I’m not going to try to make you go away.”
    “I’m not letting you take over my life, and I’m not rejecting you, I’m simply acknowledging that you exist.”
  3. Create an imaginal safe space inside your heart, and invite this part of you to rest, and be cared for by a loving presence. Remember, your nervous system will create calming sensations when you imagine them.
  4. Choose a loving being, such as Kwan Yin, or Mother Mary, that feels deeply nourishing to you, and ask this Being to watch over the hurt part of you.
  5. Check in once in awhile with this part of you, remind the part that they have a helper, a protector, and no one can hurt them now. Invite the hurt part to rest and receive nurturing.
  6. You may find that you can release sadness, or any emotion, a bit at a time, in a way that is manageable for you, like opening a bottle of sparkly water very slowly, or letting the air out of a balloon slowly.
  7. Think of deep-sea diving. When divers go deep, they have to stop at certain points as they rise up through the water to adjust the pressure and mix of air they’re breathing. Come out of the deep emotional state slowly.
  8. Journal, rest, take a walk in nature, or take an Epsom salt bath after an intense release. This will help you integrate the changes.

Contain Overwhelming emotions without suppressing them

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