As the Winter Solstice approaches on December 21, nature invites us into the hidden pockets of our psyches—which hold feelings we have suppressed, and outdated beliefs from parents and ancestor that will not carry us forward in a good way.
You may be called to journey into your own darkness, to the quiet, still place within.
December 19 through January 8, 2017, Mercury is retrograde–which gives us even more impetus to clean out closets, literally and metaphorically. It is an opportune time to take out the trash and get closure on dangling relationship issues.
The election and other worldwide events are triggering dense, dark energies to surface. These dense beliefs, fears, prejudices and greed for material wealth have been evident for hundreds of years. They stand in stark contrast to our collective desire to live sustainably, in harmony with the Earth, and honor the dignity of all living beings.
For compassionate, sensitive people who feel energies and emotions deeply, these are challenging times. I have personally felt the impact in the physical domain of my body—notably a sore throat that ebbs and flows, not yet completely resolving.
I am waking up to what lives in my heart that has gone unsaid—and what visions arise in sacred sight, which I have not shared—or in some cases, have not responsibly attended to.
If you are having a similar awakening, I want you to know you are in good company. I am asking myself these questions.
What words of dignity and Love need to be spoken? What boundaries need to be set—personally and collectively, to protect our earth and the sacredness of life?
In the decades of my adulthood, I have journeyed through shadow realms numerous times—triggered by life events such as death, divorce and illness. One such life-changing dive took me into recovery from childhood abuse.
I have gained strength, clarity, humility, compassion and yes, at times wisdom—from my journeys through the portal into the formless realm and back again, reentering ordinary daily life—changed.
I have journeyed shamanically into the void, a vast space of no-thing-ness. While at first encounter, the void appears lifeless and deathly—with repeated exploration, I have found that it to be pregnant with possibilities for new life to take form.
Once I get past my own resistance and take the plunge into the lost, disowned and uncomfortable places within, I find the golden Light that shines within the shadow.
We are collectively in such a void space now. An in-between space, where the old reality is breaking down, while the new reality is not yet formed.
I have entered some very dark places since the election. Has this been a challenging time for you as well?
I woke one morning at 1am, terror running through my body. My awareness went to my upper chest, which felt tight and congested, a ball of elastic strings in a tangle, creating pressure and a sick feeling.
Bearing witness to my wise animal body, I brought love and kindness to this painful place. What unfolded surprised me. I had not been thinking about this memory.
When I was 23, almost 40 years past, I had a great shock when my sister killed herself. When I got the news, I had a kundalini crisis—I felt as if a geyser shot up my body from root to crown. I felt some essential part of myself explode, flying out of my crown. For several days after that, “I” was on the ceiling, looking down on my body.
About 5 days later, after the memorial service for my sister, I had my first massage. During the massage, “I” came back into my body.
I came back changed. My understanding of reality shifted 180 degrees. Until my sister’s death, I had been living my life trying to please others—even when this meant not following my soul’s calling—or dulling myself down.
I took a leap into the unknown. I knew that in order to survive my sister’s death, my life had to mean more to me than it had.
Though that didn’t change 100% right away, I took the first steps. I began to value myself. My mantra became “I value my life—and myself.”
Growing up in an abusive family, I had not learned that my needs were important. Keeping secrets and keeping silent were what I learned.
Valuing my inner guidance, my soul’s prompting, was my first conscious step as an adult into embodying my soul. It was soon after that that my initiation into the Akashic Record occurred.
Until my recent re-connection with the shock from so long ago, I had not been able to fully return from going away.
Holding my hands over my chest, I called my soul back in to my body. I called with Love. I called with Safety. I capitalize these words because I called in universal streams—energy flows from the Divine. I called in Divine Love and Divine Safety. What I needed was not from the ego. What I needed was to surrender my personal experience and be more fully at peace with what happened. My sister’s death was in the Highest Good—because it is what unfolded. It was a wake-up call for my soul.
I was amazed to feel more of “me” coming back into my body. It felt and feels grounding and steady. Once I integrated this soul return, I was able to heal the fear that I felt in my animal body at the news of my sister’s death—and distinguish my personal material from the collective anxiety that has been running through the world and our country especially, since the election.
As an empath, I am highly sensitive to other people’s emotions. When they collide with my own personal unprocessed emotions, I can be temporarily overwhelmed.
Once I could clearly distinguish what was being triggered—which energy flows were of my personal shadow and which were of the collective energy field, I began to find my ground. I began to receive guidance on how to serve the greatest good. I had the support I needed to channel both my personal emotions and the collective.
After several sessions of emotional connection and journeys into the Akashic Field, I heard the call of Kali, the Dark Mother.
In Hindu legend, Kali was born from the brow of Goddess Durga during a battle with evil forces. In the battle, Kali got involved in the killing spree. She got carried away and began destroying everything in sight.
To stop her, Lord Shiva threw himself under her feet.
Shocked, Kali stuck out her tongue in astonishment. She stopped killing and destroying. With God as her ground, she had the support she needed to use her power more consciously.
Kali is a force of nature. She is primeval, fundamental and transparent—primordial like nature—like Earth, Sea and Sky. She destroys false consciousness. She symbolizes infinite knowledge, which includes knowledge of good and evil, Light and Dark—here on Earth.
On Sundays, I am a regular at Ecstatic Dance Evolution in Houston. The theme on a recent Sunday was Magic. The facilitator that day, Isabella, is a dear friend with whom I’ve done ceremony. She holds a powerful space of magic.
I felt eager to answer the call of Kali. I opened my heart to welcome her into my being. I painted my face in homage to her—and danced with my beloved community. Ecstatic Dance is a place where creativity and authentic expression—through movement and non-verbal connection—are valued and practiced week after week.
Dancing Kali, taking her on as a teacher and guide for me was a turning point.
The next day, I found my voice and set a much needed boundary with a family member. I spoke my truth and said NO to what was out of alignment with my I AM presence. I calmly stated my requirement—to be spoken to with respect.
In my inner circle of intimate relationships, I value authenticity and each person taking responsibility for our actions and conversations.
Setting a boundary, I called on Kali’s gift of exposing false consciousness. I stand to embody my soul in all relationships. If the other person does not share my values, then the relationship moves to an outer ring—an acquaintance, not an intimate.
After setting that boundary, I felt calm, empowered and grounded. Setting boundaries opens space for my soul to breathe and live through me.
Since my tag line on my website banner is “Embody your Soul,” you know this is important for me to do. Like many—I am teaching what I’m here to learn.
A day later, I wrote this letter to of gratitude to Kali:
Thank you for your fierce love. I have needed your fearless love all my life. Since the election, I can no longer live without it.
For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, the election has awakened primal fears—which can be paralyzing—and oh, so personal. For empaths, the election has inundated the airwaves with collective panic & desperation.
Kali – your fire is blazing a channel through me – revitalizing me and waking me up to my power. Oh Goddess have I needed you! For eons and lifetimes I have cried out to you. Life and love of life is reawakening within me. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I claim my voice. I will and do speak my truth. I will and am being heard.
The support I am receiving from my spiritual family, a worldwide community of embodied Light workers, feeds me. My guides in the Spirit world are with me.
I feel unshackled. I have glimmers of the golden Light in our current situation. I want to support you finding your way through whatever has been triggered that is thirsty for Light.
May your day be blessed with ease of well-being.
May every breath you take be peaceful and nourishing.
What questions are you living with since the election? How are you finding your ground?